What is “home?” Is it the place you’ve grown up in and lived all your life? Or did you leave this “home” and start over somewhere new? What characterizes “home” – is it a place, or a place within yourself?
I was born in Fort Worth, Texas. We moved to Seattle when I was a baby, so it’s all I really remembered. Seattle was my “home” for 27 years.
At that 27 year mark, I had some serious awareness come over me. I was either going to keep on the path I was on – which was not good – or take a leap of faith and follow my heart…
I first visited Costa Rica in 2013 and immediately fell in love. I felt a calling to get back there as soon as possible. I had a taste of decompression and I needed more. I was in the go-go-go lifestyle, I felt the pressure all around me constantly to be someone I was not, and it was either get out of there or self destruct.
It was crazy, once I made the decision, how seamlessly everything started falling into place. I got a yoga trade opportunity with a reiki master who lived on the beach in Jaco. She offered me to live with her for a month in exchange for yoga lessons. This was my big opportunity.
Within six months, I had packed two suitcases, sold my car, and said goodbye to everything I had ever known.
I felt a million crazy emotions, but the most powerful one was courage. I was done with my life in Seattle. At least that life in Seattle. I realized this was a life or death situation, and I chose LIFE.
My five months in Costa Rica changed my life, to say the least. It’s hard to find the right words to explain such a transformative experience. What happened, exactly, though, was I CREATED space for myself to just DO NOTHING.
Some may say I ran away, and maybe I did in a way. But thank God I did. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I swear to God, that salt water ocean healed me. After just ten days or so of being in paradise, I began to get this insane glow – this radiating happiness that seemed to just pour out of me.
I started to learn about myself all over again.
In conversations with new friends, I realized I didn’t even really know what I liked anymore, and in a way it was exciting because I was this new person… my AUTHENTIC ME. I wasn’t bound to all the bullshit I was raised up on… the societal shit, the parental shit that I learned. I was just free to be ME. There is nothing more incredible than this.
I taught a bit of yoga over these five months, but mostly I just laid on the beach, surfed, and shared my soul with others on the same path as me. I met all walks of life from ALL OVER THE WORLD. Embraced a new language and a new culture. Ate too many mangos and drank a lot of red wine. I healed my soul of the conditioning of my past. Like a butterfly, I underwent a metamorphosis on all levels.
I read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” for the second time and actually understood it. This propelled my shift of consciousness. I took in the beauty that surrounded me every day… I journaled… meditated… and got clear on what I wanted for myself in this life.
Though I didn’t plan on coming back to the states at all, I did after just five months. The Universe had other plans for me. I accepted them and moved back to Fort Worth, Texas to create a new life for me… and the beautiful little boy growing inside me.
I now have the most incredible life imaginable with my son here in Texas. If you told me three years ago that I would be living in the same place I was born… I would never have believed you. Crazy how life comes full circle.
The truth is, I found “home” within myself.
For me, “home” is not a physical place. It is a place with which I connect deep within myself EVERYDAY. No matter what physical location on this planet I choose to live, my real “home” is in my heart. The sweetest, most comfortable place I could ever imagine. Thank you, Universe.