When I teach yoga, I find myself constantly reminding my students to enjoy their practice, to find pleasure in feeling their bodies move and breathe, to literally revel in what it feels like to be alive.
Practicing yoga can be an incredibly sensual experience. This is one way I fall in love with myself on a daily basis. Before I get to the delicious list I’ve created for you, let’s touch on the topic of self love, and, more specifically, self pleasure…
We are sexual, sensual beings.
Our sexuality is the root of our creative energy… it is pure life force energy, and it is the most healing thing that exists in the Universe.
Emotional eating, eating disorders and drug and alcohol addiction all stem from an imbalance of sexual energy – I can tell you from experiencing all of the above firsthand that self pleasure and starting a healthy habit of masturbation and sensual practices greatly balances addictions of all kinds, because pleasure is the precise energy we are dealing with here. We want to feel good. That’s a given. When our physical, sexual, sensual needs are not met, we look elsewhere to feel pleasure.
So, why is masturbation such a taboo?
As you read this, I want you to stay very aware of how you feel. If any of this makes you uncomfortable at any moment, get curious about it – without judging yourself. Notice any physical or emotional reactions as you read. Be curious about any shame or guilt you have around these subjects. It’s ok. We were raised in a society that does not encourage these practices… they are seen as taboo and this is why, collectively, we have built a huge mountain of guilt and shame in our beings. After all, how many of us were actually taught a healthy perspective on masturbation from the time we were young?
This energy is stuck and wants to get out. Not only does it want to move and be free – it is your greatest spiritual teacher and wants to help you become your highest self.
Whether you are currently in a relationship or not not does not matter when it comes to self pleasure.
If you have a partner, your relationship will evolve to a new level of intimacy. When you get used to pleasuring yourself, you learn exactly what you like and how you like it. You develop a new level of confidence that will spill over into your relationship and eliminate your “need” for the other person. If you do not have a partner currently, you will naturally attract the mate you have been dreaming of by falling in love with yourself.
Only when you can understand and pleasure yourself fully can you accept the same pleasure from another human in a healthy way… a way free of attachment, clingyness, and neediness. You do not need another person to complete you. You are already complete.
Self Pleasure 101
- The God-Goddess within you | Firstly, understand that we all have divine feminine and masculine energy within us. These two forces work together to create wholeness in our being. Your perceptions of the perfect partner are just reflections of this energy inside you, like a mirror. Therefore, what you want is already within you! Recognize this energy in yourself. Instead of fantasizing about another person (which can also be a yummy practice, don’t get me wrong!), imagine this person as yourself, imagine you are wildly attracted to yourself as this partner. This is a simple visualization practice. It’s great for before or during self touch.
- Dancing | A perfect way to loosen up your body and release tension. Put on your favorite music. Try dancing naked, do a sexy striptease for yourself, even in front of a mirror, so you can see yourself and marvel at your beautiful body. Run your fingers all over yourself while you dance. Feel your sacred energy move with the music.
- Sensual self pleasure & masturbation | Make time for self pleasure practice just like you would anything else, like scheduling a meeting or going to the gym. Make your bedroom a sacred space. Turn off your phone. Light candles. Incense. Music. However you like to set the mood. Set it for yourself, as if you were preparing for your lover… because you are – you are your ultimate lover. This does not even have to involve penetration of any kind – simply touch and caress yourself all over like a lover. Feel your skin. Touch your genitals. Breathe deeply and rock your pelvis. Get into a rhythm with your breath that supports the release of tension and energy from your emotional body. Imagine your divine feminine and masculine energy there as the ultimate god and goddess to make love to. Imagine yourself as this energy. You may or may not decide to add toys into the mix, I suggest trying both ways. Practice waiting to climax. Bring yourself to the brink three times before letting it happen.
- Make your shower or bath a sensual experience every time | Whether it’s five minutes or thirty minutes, take advantage of the time being naked. Feel the water pour over your skin, take deep breaths, touch yourself. This is a wonderful and simple mindfulness practice that is full of opportunity to give yourself some much needed love.
- Awaken to pleasure in your yoga practice | Pay attention to details as you move on your mat. Go slow. Let your breath guide you through compassion and forgiveness of any ill feelings or judgments of yourself. Often times, I find myself making sounds as I exhale because it literally feels so damn good! Pay attention to the release happening, and invite more of it in. Notice moments when you find yourself being too serious (we all do it!) – consciously relax the muscles in your face, relax your shoulders, and remember – it’s just yoga. You’re there to feel good! Approach your practice as a time to play and explore, in the same way you would with a lover.
Allow this to be a process, like everything else.
These practices might feel weird or awkward at first. It’s ok. Stay committed. You will be surprised at what happens in a very short amount of time. Take it slow and be gentle on yourself.
After years of collectively suppressing our divine feminine, know she may be slow to come back around, maybe even angry. Allow yourself to explore all the emotions that arise. By starting with you and shifting your own vibration through self pleasure, you will begin to heal your own emotional body, naturally attract a partner and be part of the collective shift in consciousness and healing on the planet.
When the time comes to share your sexuality with another person, they will not be filling a void for you, they simply complement the self awareness you already exude and bring a new level to it as your two souls merge to create a special, third union… sex is and should always be a sacred, intentional practice.
Plus, the more you fall in love with yourself, the more confidence you will have in yourself, and the less you will give a shit what other people think about you. Insecurity stems directly from lack of self love.
So touch yourself. Let your wild inner god and goddess come out to play. Don’t hold back. Surrender to the healing opportunity present in loving yourself exactly as you are right now. You are perfect.
Have a pleasure filled weekend!
As I prepare for Peru and ISTA Level One Training, I have been reading this book as recommended reading for the workshop and have been greatly inspired by its content – the above which I am sharing with you is simply my version of processing this information and the experience I have had putting its suggested practices into effect. I highly recommend this book to any individual or couple seeking greater levels of intimacy and sexual healing: