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Lifestyle, Travel

Living Completely Out of Control

Nothing will throw you out of your normal routine like travel.

It will throw you off, make you question life, give you courage to change, and make you appreciate things you were taking for granted.

Integrating my Peru experience is definitely going to be a process. I’ve only been back one week and have noticed a whole new set of challenges arise. With a new perspective on virtually everything I see, how do I make sense of it all?

I’ve noticed some struggles come back around my relationship with food that I never thought I would see again. Comfort foods have been my favorite thing lately and I can see them on my body in the form of a few extra pounds… especially on my belly, which I used to absolutely hate. But maybe this is a healthier weight for me? Or maybe I’m just emotionally eating to handle all the feelings I currently have about shaking up my routine and falling in love with someone who is now suddenly gone continuing his travels around the world?

You can spend hours preparing yourself for something, but it’s true you just don’t know how you’re really going to feel until it happens.

The one thing I do know is that I am navigating my way to a new balance… a new routine where I have vowed to put myself first more. Before Peru I was in a flow of work, work, work… for everyone else. I realize now I wasn’t putting enough energy into my own businesses and my own dreams. So I have carved out time in my schedule to do this going forward. I told my limiting beliefs to kindly Fuck Off and I’ve gotten clear on what I really want.

I was reminded that I am the only one who can make ME happy. And I’m all about it. I seriously freaking love it. I love myself so much. I know what I’m doing, where I want to go and how to take care of myself. And I’m excited about what I’m currently creating… planting some incredible new seeds in this freshly tilled soil.

But I am still a human being and I fucking miss him like crazy.

Since we parted ways that hasn’t gone away. And it’s okay. I feel him in everything I do and it’s beautiful. He has taught me so much and helped shift my perspective on life. What greater gift can a person give?

It’s natural for humans to want to come together and co-create. When we find those special relationships that are seemless and easy… when the dance between two people is so beautiful… it makes us want to hang on even more. And it’s okay. Because the only way I know how to love is with my whole heart… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So I let him go, I let him be free, to spread his wings… to explore, to expand, and to live as fully and authentically as he possibly can. Because I do love him deeply and want that for him. To live completely out of control. I know we will come back together if we are supposed to.

The difference now is that I have some new tools in my pocket to help me handle the emotions that arise daily.

I love myself more, I know how to take care of myself, and I have a new level of confidence in myself to achieve the things I want for my future. Knowing that is gold.

So I dance, I laugh, I cry, I remember. I scream into my pillow when I feel angry. I use all the tools of emotional release I possibly can to work with my emotional body. Because I’m tired of running away from it. I’m tired of numbing it. I FEEL. And I am grateful to feel on such a deep level. I am ALIVE! And what I really want is to continually peel back layers so that true love and creativity can flow through me from my core.

So, going forward my life is all about release and creation. Every. Single. Day.

My divine masculine and feminine energy are co-creating together within my magnificent being.

I blaze forward on this path. With an open heart I will stay vulnerable to whatever and whoever crosses my path. I am open to the lessons, the happiness, sadness, longing, confusion, pain, and joy that lies ahead.

I let go of control.

Because living out of control is the only way to live FREE.

My journey to South America was for a magical week long training: ISTA Level One, Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Experience.

The grounding energy of the mountains in Pisac was incredible and lended to a most transformative experience on all levels – body, mind and spirit. I cannot speak highly enough of ISTA (International School of Temple Arts) – I will cherish and use daily the tools I learned to greater expand love, freedom and power in my being and I am so grateful for the wonderful facilitators who helped me release tons of stored guilt, shame and fear in my being… because there is now new space for more love, new experiences, and a new perspective on life.

Our sexual energy is our life force energy, it is our creativity. When we learn how to work with this, we are able to step fully into our personal power, allow creativity to flow, and truly manifest the life we want.

Here is the video Brent & I compiled of our experience in Pisac, Peru at ISTA:



More info about ISTA trainings here:

Follow Brent on his travels by subscribing to his blog!

And make sure to subscribe to my blog for all the updates on my integration, more stories and vlogs coming soon… xo


























Lifestyle, Mom Life, Travel

Mom Life, Guilt & Peru

Being a mom is the most incredible thing ever.

It is most definitely the greatest love I have ever felt. But it is also the hardest thing I have ever attempted.

I’m not just talking about hard in the little day to day aspects, like food and toy messes 24/7, whining, and having to literally sit on my child to brush his teeth (first world problems, I know). That stuff isn’t really a big deal.

The hardest thing about being a mom revolves around guilt.

I am a single mom and I work from home. I constantly wonder, “Am I working too much? Am I spending enough quality time with my son? Am I feeding him the right foods? Am I giving him the best life I possibly can?”

If you are a parent, I’m sure you relate. We all want what’s best for our kids and we beat ourselves up way too often. After all, we’re doing the best we can. Or, are we?

I have always struggled with doing things for myself.

I find a lot of joy in helping people and doing things for others… so much that I have in the past let it tip the scales so out of balance that I would completely neglect myself and withdraw from my own emotions. This constant doing for others was also a way I would run away from myself and those icky feelings that I didn’t want to deal with. Eventually I wound up a pill popping, addicted mess and the only way out was to make a radical change.

That’s when I packed two suitcases and left Seattle to decompress for six months in Costa Rica… the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.

Not only did I become a mother as a result of this decision, but I began to truly notice the feelings of guilt, shame, and fear that had built up in my soul over the years. As my awareness grew, so did my desire to learn more. It was time to start working through this shit.

When my dear friend Brent (Soul Guru) told me about ISTA over a year ago, I remember thinking, “Wow, that sounds amazing. I would love to do that… but there is no way in hell I could leave my toddler and go take a trip to Peru.”

As time passed, I started thinking about this more… I noticed how much guilt I felt at the mere THOUGHT of leaving Julian for a couple weeks. More time passed, and I got to a point recently (around the first of the year) where my inner voice was speaking to me loud and clear. I realized I needed to take this trip. I needed to do it for myself. I needed to trust my inner voice and what the Universe was saying to me.

“Go. Go. Go. Be free.”

I realized the transformational journey involved in this trip is going to open my heart, help me live more authentically, and help me connect with my highest self, and as a result I will be a better mother to my son. This is me putting myself first. As strong as I feel the guilt knocking at the door, I will not let it in. This trip represents my ultimate expression of self love.

Guilt is a mother fucker.

It just seems to creep in from out of no where and ruin a perfectly perfect situation. It has no respect for the present moment and absolutely no consideration for our feelings.

It’s time to release this. I am giving myself permission to explore the deepest, darkest, depths of my soul at ISTA and release years of built up guilt, shame and fear that are holding me back from living 100% authentically.

A lot of the work has already been done, and this is the next chapter.

After the ISTA Level One training, Brent and I are going to hike Macchu Picchu and let all of our self work process as we walk upon sacred land.

It is my pleasure to share with you my intention for this Peru trip, taking place in March:

1. ISTA: To work through years of built up guilt, shame, fear, and release it. To cultivate a deeper level of intimacy with myself and my sexuality so that I can live from a place of true authenticity and fully step into my power. As a result of creating new space in my body, I invite my own personal yoga philosophy to emerge. With an open heart, I invite deeper levels of friendship to come into my life. I allow my career to flourish in new ways as a result of new waves of creative energy emerging in my being. I invite myself to connect to this deep seated creativity on a daily basis. It’s time to move the bullshit out of the way and feel my soul explode into the truest expression of myself that the Universe intended.

2. Macchu Picchu: To immerse myself in a sacred vortex of energy… to walk and process all the emotions that were released at ISTA. I invite my soul to experience the vast and sheer beauty of Mother Nature, to move my body and feel the physical release of emotions and energy as my being renews itself before returning home.

With that, I encourage you…

If there is something you want to do – DO IT. DO NOT HOLD BACK. What does your soul want? What is your inner voice saying? Are you listening? If you suppress this you are breeding more guilt, shame and fear in your being.

When you start listening and truly honoring your heart’s desire, you will see that everything falls into alignment naturally, seemlessly. Opportunities start coming out of the woodwork. Beautiful new relationships emerge.

Is there something you feel called to do? Are you denying this? Get curious about these things. Take out your journal. Write. Get quiet and really listen and feel what your body and soul want.

Thank you so much for reading and listening. Drop a comment below if you feel called to, and feel free to ask me any questions! When we are vulnerable and share with each other, magical things happen. The time is NOW to connect with yourself and your loved ones at a deeper level. Love is the only real truth there is.

Gratitude and good vibes,




Costa Rica Coming Home
Lifestyle, Travel

Costa Rica: Coming Home to Myself

What is “home?” Is it the place you’ve grown up in and lived all your life? Or did you leave this “home” and start over somewhere new? What characterizes “home” – is it a place, or a place within yourself?

I was born in Fort Worth, Texas. We moved to Seattle when I was a baby, so it’s all I really remembered. Seattle was my “home” for 27 years.

At that 27 year mark, I had some serious awareness come over me. I was either going to keep on the path I was on – which was not good – or take a leap of faith and follow my heart…

I first visited Costa Rica in 2013 and immediately fell in love. I felt a calling to get back there as soon as possible. I had a taste of decompression and I needed more. I was in the go-go-go lifestyle, I felt the pressure all around me constantly to be someone I was not, and it was either get out of there or self destruct.

It was crazy, once I made the decision, how seamlessly everything started falling into place. I got a yoga trade opportunity with a reiki master who lived on the beach in Jaco. She offered me to live with her for a month in exchange for yoga lessons. This was my big opportunity.

Within six months, I had packed two suitcases, sold my car, and said goodbye to everything I had ever known.

Costa Rica Coming HomeI felt a million crazy emotions, but the most powerful one was courage. I was done with my life in Seattle. At least that life in Seattle. I realized this was a life or death situation, and I chose LIFE.

My five months in Costa Rica changed my life, to say the least. It’s hard to find the right words to explain such a transformative experience. What happened, exactly, though, was I CREATED space for myself to just DO NOTHING.

Some may say I ran away, and maybe I did in a way. But thank God I did. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I swear to God, that salt water ocean healed me. After just ten days or so of being in paradise, I began to get this insane glow – this radiating happiness that seemed to just pour out of me.

I started to learn about myself all over again.

In conversations with new friends, I realized I didn’t even really know what I liked anymore, and in a way it was exciting because I was this new person… my AUTHENTIC ME. I wasn’t bound to all the bullshit I was raised up on… the societal shit, the parental shit that I learned. I was just free to be ME. There is nothing more incredible than this.

Costa Rica Coming HomeI taught a bit of yoga over these five months, but mostly I just laid on the beach, surfed, and shared my soul with others on the same path as me. I met all walks of life from ALL OVER THE WORLD. Embraced a new language and a new culture. Ate too many mangos and drank a lot of red wine. I healed my soul of the conditioning of my past. Like a butterfly, I underwent a metamorphosis on all levels.

I read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” for the second time and actually understood it. This propelled my shift of consciousness. I took in the beauty that surrounded me every day… I journaled… meditated… and got clear on what I wanted for myself in this life.

Though I didn’t plan on coming back to the states at all, I did after just five months. The Universe had other plans for me. I accepted them and moved back to Fort Worth, Texas to create a new life for me… and the beautiful little boy growing inside me.

I now have the most incredible life imaginable with my son here in Texas. If you told me three years ago that I would be living in the same place I was born… I would never have believed you. Crazy how life comes full circle.

The truth is, I found “home” within myself.

Costa Rica Coming HomeFor me, “home” is not a physical place. It is a place with which I connect deep within myself EVERYDAY. No matter what physical location on this planet I choose to live, my real “home” is in my heart. The sweetest, most comfortable place I could ever imagine. Thank you, Universe.


Warrior Two
Chakras, Health + Wellness, Travel

The Colors of Your Practice

I co-taught my first workshop as a yoga instructor in Costa Rica with a Reiki Master who I also lived with at the time.

She welcomed me warmly into her home for three of the most magical months of my life. She taught me all about the chakras, or energy centers in the body, and suddenly my own yoga practice and teaching took on a whole new form & meaning. Teaching this workshop of three beautiful students was a turning point in my life, one of the most powerful & rewarding experiences I’ve ever had.

I came up with the name “The Colors of Your Practice” because we devoted the workshop to education about the chakras, how they are related to the physical practice of yoga (asana), and how to incorporate the two to live a more balanced life. I designed the flyer! Check it out…

Event Flyer, Aurora Yoga / Jaco, Costa Rica

Event Flyer, Aurora Yoga / Jaco, Costa Rica

Prior to my experience living in Costa Rica, I had always felt like there was something missing in my own understanding of yoga, which in turn made me feel the same about my teaching.

Sure, power yoga is a great way to stay in shape, but what is it about practicing yoga that brings such euphoria, such joy – on the mental/emotional/spiritual level… that element that makes yoga so different from all other forms of physical exercise? For me, knowledge & understanding of the chakra system was that missing piece of the puzzle. There is actually a reason why practicing yoga feels so damn good! And this knowledge is ancient, Eastern philosophy. Each yoga asana has a specific intention designed to stimulate & awaken energy in the chakras… to balance them, & in turn, create a more balanced you… a healthy body whose vibration is in greater harmony with the Universal energy it is made of.

Practicing yoga is like peeling away the layers of an onion, like coming home to our true self… it’s easy to get buried under a busy work schedule, taking care of family, nurturing friendships, meeting deadlines, going here, going there, doing this, doing that. Putting myself first has never been the easiest thing for me. But, like yoga, it’s a practice, and awareness is always the first step. How can we expect to love & take care of anyone else if we do not fully understand and practice self love? Consider this a lesson in loving yourself… by understanding your chakras, you will begin to understand why you feel out of wack at times and content, or even blissful, at others. You can literally heal yourself from the inside out.

Our bodies speak to us everyday…

Tight hamstrings, the common cold, a sore neck, digestion issues, poor posture… in the Western world, these things are often seen as problems that some type of pill can correct, and we go on with our day. But is this actually curing the problem? No. It’s just a quick fix. A numbing agent. We need to get to the root of the problem if we want true healing. Physical pain and ailments are our body’s way of talking to us. They are a response to buried feelings that we need to deal with… issues at our core that we can access through our chakras. We have the ability to identify what triggers an imbalance in a given chakra and apply this knowledge to balance ourselves naturally using yoga postures & meditation. You can heal your life. YOU are your own best doctor!

Chakras are wheel shaped, spinning vortexes of energy.

There are many chakras in the human body, but the main seven are stacked along the spine, starting at the base of the spine with the root chakra, leading up to the crown chakra at the top of the head. The colors of the rainbow will never be the same for me. I literally think of the following every time I see a color…

7 ChakrasRed represents the 1st, or root chakra. Our sense of grounding, survival, security. “I Am.”

Orange represents the 2nd, or sacral chakra. The center of our emotions… sensuality, sexuality, & creativity. “I Feel.”

Yellow… 3rd, the solar plexus chakra. Our confidence, sense of identity, & personal power. “I Do.”

Green… 4th, the heart chakra. Love, relationships, compassion. “I Love.”

Blue… 5th, the throat chakra. Communication. All of the ways we express ourselves & speak our truth… our voice. “I Speak.”

Purple… 6th, the third eye chakra. The seat of our intuition. Our center of perception. Our ability to manifest & visualize the life we want. “I See.”

White, or pink… the 7th, or crown chakra. Our connection to the Divine & to our Highest Self, our source of inspiration. “I Understand.”

As human beings we have the ability to manifest anything we desire. All we have to do is tap into the infinite energy that already resides within us. The chakra system is not part of our physical body, but of the softer, subtle energy body that is just as much a part of our being as as our arms and legs.

Learn more about the chakra system here.

It's A Boy!
Health + Wellness, Lifestyle, Mom Life, Travel, Yoga

A Warm Welcome

Welcome, friends! I am so excited for the opportunity to create this platform to share with you. I’ve been building this website in my head for some time, it’s amazing to see it come to life. There have been far too many moments lately where I have thought to myself, “I should write about this,” or, “I want to share about that.” So, here it is. A “grab bag of awareness,” from my heart to yours. Because I can only keep what I have by giving it away. This is my experience. My strength. My weakness. My hope. My heart. I hope it will somehow brighten your day or inspire you along your path, wherever you’re at in your journey.

Welcome to my Life. I am currently living in Fort Worth, Texas – ironically, the exact town in which I was born in 1986. I never thought I’d be living here in Texas. Crazy how life comes full circle. Having lived in Seattle for 27 years, then transferring myself to the Costa Rican sunshine, Texas was the last place I thought I’d end up. But here I am, arriving last September after living in Costa Rica for five incredible months. It was never my intention to leave there, but the Universe had other plans for me. Needless to say, I am grateful to be reunited with family here & have the support I need during a very special time…

Welcome, little one. Just when I thought I had everything exactly how I wanted it, BAM. The biggest curveball that’s ever been thrown at me… A baby! I fell in love with a beautiful, incredibly talented Costa Rican musician upon my arrival in paradise, and the rest is, well, history. Fast forward to the present, where I now have two beautiful boys to look forward to spending my future with… one of them in my belly, due to make his first appearance in just five weeks! When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared at first, but quickly realized what a Blessing it was… the Universe was telling me I was ready to be a Mom, something I have always looked forward to. Being pregnant has brought me a whole new outlook on Life, family, yoga, and brought me to a whole new level of self-love. Plenty of stories on this to come!

Welcome, new perspective on Yoga. During my travels in Costa Rica, I was in a massive space of decompression. Coming from a fast-paced life in Seattle to the slow-paced “Pura Vida” lifestyle was exactly what I needed to reconnect with myself. I was broken when I got there, but quickly learned some incredible things that have changed me forever. I lived with a Reiki Master for three months who taught me about the chakras, which brought a whole new element of INTENTION to my own yoga practice & teaching. She helped me develop a healthy new perspective on meditation that turned into a beautiful meditation practice of my own. On top of that, getting pregnant and learning to work with my changing body – embracing a very relaxed, modified yoga practice & loving my new curves – has brought an additional element of change to my practice that I have grown to love and can’t wait to share once I start teaching again in the near future.

Welcome, Awareness. My intention for this blog is to share my experience with you. To share what has worked for me, what hasn’t, share music, art,  awesome information, and lots of LOVE… from the perspective of a yogi, a yoga teacher, an artist, a writer, a friend, a lover, a daughter, a mother (whoa!)… and to help everyone understand that yoga is not just about asana. It is a lifestyle! There are eight limbs of yoga, and asana (posture) is only one limb – the other seven include meditation & other practices of mindfulness intended to help us live a more meaningful & purposeful life.

My intention through sharing my own knowledge & experience is to heighten your awareness of your physical body & the world around you, and how to incorporate the practices of yoga into your own life. In turn, you will receive the gifts of choosing to live consciously so that you can brave this crazy world with eyes wide open & a sense of empowerment in your being.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you make a habit of it! You can subscribe to my blog by simply entering your email in the box to the right ——–> Please leave comments, follow me on social media, and contact me for private yoga instruction & wellness coaching!

Love you all!


Photo Credit: Jami West Photography